Since I did an update on Andrew, I thought I'd do an update on Cherish. And, since I wasn't blogging when we received Cherish, I will back up a bit for the purpose of understanding.
When we received Cherish, we were all in the "honeymoon stage" for about 72 hours.
Everything was beautiful.
Everything was lovely.
There were lots of smiles, and I don't believe there were any tears.
However, after that 72 hours, Cherish FREAKED out at having me as her new "nanny" (or so she probably thought). I was the alien. Derek was the safe one. Since Cherish was born four hours from the capital city in her province, she had never seen a blonde-haired or blue-eyed person. I'm tellin' ya, I was el-freako! And, she let me and all the other people in our hotel know it! She was the only child in the hotel, but I can
guarantee that everyone knew she was there by her constant blood-curdling screams. She. was. TERRIFIED. of. me!
When we got home to the States, Cherish was stuck with mommy as daddy had to return to work. She was not pleased! She was daddy's girl.
Period.
Um, seriously.
Period.
When I had to put her to bed or comfort her from bad dreams, she would refuse to be near my face. Thus, I would rock her in the rocking chair with her body lying over my knees, or I would put her head and back on my legs with her legs up on my chest. Then I could rock her to sleep.
We're talking two months! I didn't know if it would ever end.
Cherish had initially been living with a foster family. The "grandparents" were her foster parents, and living with them were the grandparent's son and daughter-in-law and their daughter. Thus, Cherish had an older "sister" who was her playmate. Derek and I were told that her foster mother would often hold Cherish (Mei Ai Mei) cheek to cheek with herself. That was the way the foster mother comforted Cherish. Thus, as far as Cherish was concerned, this new lady (me) wasn't going to get anywhere near those cheeks--which were foster momma's. Thankfully, I knew this ahead of time. It wasn't always easy, but when I remembered the pain Cherish was suffering from with the loss of her foster parents, and missing her "sister"/playmate, the compassion and understanding helped my hurting heart in the process of the slowing bonding.
But, alas, she learned to
tolerate me.
And, about four months later, she began to choose me over Derek at times.
It was the shock of all shocks.
Shortly, thereafter, she became the Cherish we now know.
- The Cherish that desires to be held and cuddled by both daddy and mommy.
- The Cherish that begs us to sleep with her at night.
- The Cherish that wakes me (mommy) up in the night just to snuggle.
- The Cherish that pleads with me to go back to bed in the morning just so that she can climb in my bed next to me and be "spooned" and held tightly.
- The Cherish that asks me to "always" home-school her so she can spend as much time with me as possible.
- The Cherish who says she never wants to get married so she can always live with us.
Cherish. She is truly treasured and loved!
So, for all the adoptive parents out there who wonder what in the world is going on with the child they just adopted internationally, just remember that your child has been traumatized. For all they know, they've been kidnapped. On top of that, they have to deal with a new culture, new surroundings, new smells, new foods, new sounds, new language, new...new...new.... Traumatized. Just hold them as tightly as they'll let you and pray over them constantly. There are so many wounds to be healed.
But, God.
He is the Great Healer.
