The year was 1997, and I had grown up in a small town in Pennsylvania.
My seven siblings and I had a blast growing up in the hills of Pennsylvania
supported by our loving parents. Life hadn’t been perfect, but my life had been
filled with the things kids love: skating, running, biking, playing, camping,
exploring, fishing, swimming, hiking, acting….
Now, I was “all grown up” and working as an interpreter for children
who were deaf and hearing impaired. I loved my job, and I loved being surrounded
by lots of elementary-aged children.
One day, my little world came crashing down. I received a phone call
informing me that my dad had left my mom. In that moment, all the security I
felt in people evaporated.
My mom asked me to move back home and help her move to Florida. The
only thought I had over and over again was: “Honor your father and your mother”
(Exodus 20:12a and Ephesians 6:2a).
So, I moved back home, quit my job, and sold my car. My mom and I began
driving up and down the east coast looking for a new place for my mom to call
“home”. We eventually found a house in Flagler County and moved to Florida on December
7, 1997.
When summer rolled around again, Florida was in a panic as wild fires
consumed over 500,000 acres of land and hundreds of homes. On July 3, 1998
Flagler County fires hit their peak and the entire county of 42,000 residence
was evacuated.
My mom and I, while contemplating traveling “home” to Pennsylvania since
we hardly knew anyone in Florida, were trapped in traffic many hours trying to literally
get out of the blazing inferno. Wearily reaching Jacksonville, we pulled over
to rest for the night and the next day.
God provided a hotel room for us through relatives who had come to
Jacksonville to attend a relative’s wedding. My mom and I decided to stay in
Florida in case the fires consumed our house, thus, being available for
insurance purposes.
July 4th was an especially lonely day. In the past, July 4th
had always been such a grand day filled with excitement, family,
friends, and Independence Day celebrations—from early morning until late at
night. This year was vastly different. I was in the hotel room without my
immediate family, without friends, and without any Independence Day
celebrations or fireworks displays (due to the wild fires). I longed to have a
friend with whom to share my aching heart.
On Sunday morning, July 5th, my mom and I decided to check
into a Red Cross Disaster Relief Shelter with other evacuees. Before heading
out to find the shelter, we chose to attend a nearby church. Since we arrived
when the service was already over, we decided to attend the Sunday School class
that followed the service.
After the class, a gentleman named Derek Bollinger approached to ask
me to lunch. Since my mom and I had only one car and since we both needed to
eat, together we went with Derek to lunch. We all enjoyed our time together,
and my mom and I felt uplifted.
At the end of lunch, Derek wrote his phone number on a piece of paper
and handed it to me—making me promise to call when I was safely back home.
Knowing I was bound to keep my promise, I put his phone number in the glove
compartment of my mom’s car to save until we returned home.
As we drove away, I repeated the words of Scripture over and over
again in my head: “Honor your father and your mother.” Every time the Scripture
came to mind, I was more in love with my mom and knew beyond any shadow of any
doubt that I was exactly where I needed (and wanted) to be.
We walked into the Disaster Relief Shelter, registered, unloaded, and
took a shower. When we came back to the crowded gymnasium, we found that the
men—evacuees themselves—had found new filing cabinets and made us a little
“room” within the gymnasium, using the filing cabinets as walls! In addition to
the newly made “room”, the men had gotten us two cots and placed them side by
side inside the little “room”. I was astonished!
There were families with young children, husbands and wives, and
single people bedded down all over the gymnasium. But, for some unknown reason,
the men had gotten together to make us a room for privacy! I couldn’t
comprehend it! I felt like God was wrapping His secure arms around my mom and
me, and making us feel—literally—wrapped in His love. I felt seen by Him. I
felt that something strange and beautiful had occurred to cause these men to care
about two complete strangers, perfectly capable of sleeping “out in the open”
with everyone else.
I don’t know about my mom, but my heart that had been feeling raw,
bleeding, insecure, and weary felt warm, secure, and embraced by love.
When the evacuation was lifted, my mom and I returned home to find our
house was without damage—for which we were very thankful! However, so many in
our small town came home to complete devastation:
Days passed before I remembered my promise and that sheet of paper in
the glove compartment containing a man’s phone number. I called Derek’s phone and
his answering machine picked up. I simply told him our house had come through
the forest fires unscathed and thanked him for having us to lunch. I figured I
fulfilled my promise. As I was hanging up the phone, I heard my mom’s voice in my
head saying: “It’s impolite not leave a phone number at the end of a message.” Out
of obligation to manners, I left my phone number for this man who was a
stranger.
(Derek still has
the tape I left the voice mail on.)
I received a call back from Derek. He asked me to go on a date with him.
I said, “No.”
He persisted.
I said, “No.”
Figuring I wasn’t being completely polite, I hesitantly added: “If you
want to hang out with my mom and me, you are welcome to visit me at our house.”
I had no interest in dating a stranger!
To my surprise, he agreed to drive 60 miles each way to come visit us!
Repeatedly!
Over the next couple of months, Derek and I became very good friends
and enjoyed spending time together with each other’s family.
During this time, I had committed myself to the LORD in a new way. I
told Him that I was His Bride, and that I needed no other. I was content to be
His Bride and to serve Him in any capacity He chose for me. Therefore, I was
not going to look for a man or date anyone. I only wanted Him. If He wanted to
give me a husband, He would have to do it. My heart was for Him alone.
Time passed and Derek and I spent Christmas Eve together—splitting
time with his family and my family. As we were parting ways, Derek proposed to
me. My response was simply: “No, Derek. We’re just friends.” He asked me about
5 times that night. Each time I gave him the same answer.
For 9 days straight, Derek
proposed to me! Each time, I gave him the same response: “No, Derek; we’re just
good friends.”
On Saturday, January 2nd, after yet another “no”, my mom
talked privately to Derek. She told Derek that she knew he was “the one” for
me, but that I didn’t know it. She suggested that Derek not ask me to marry him
for a while and to simply pray about it. That night, my mom asked me if I ever
prayed about the “no” answer I was continually giving Derek. I said, “No. I
didn’t think I needed to. We’re just friends.” My mom simply stated: “He is the
one who is to be your husband. You just don’t know it yet. Promise me that
you’ll pray about it and see what God tells you.” I agreed.
That night and the next day I prayed. By Sunday evening, God had shown
me His sovereign plan. He indeed intended Derek to be my husband. With the
knowledge came feelings of affection for the first time! I actually wanted to
hold Derek’s hand! How strange! I thought it would be wonderful if Derek hugged
me! I was shocked!
That evening after a concert that his parents and we were attending, I
decided it was time to tell Derek. While beginning to drive out of the parking
lot to meet his parents at a restaurant, I asked Derek to put his car in “park”
so we could talk. Derek put his vehicle in “park” in the parking lot, and I
told him that God had given me to him.
Derek passed out in the car! He buckled over onto the gear shift in
between the front bucket seats.
When he “came to”, he sat up crying.
Derek was in a daze!!!
We decided to share the news with his parents, so Derek began driving to
the restaurant his parents were headed to.
At the first traffic signal, the light was red. Derek blew right
through it!
The next traffic light was green. Derek stopped at it!
I told Derek we were going to get killed if he couldn’t concentrate.
Somehow, we managed to get to the restaurant alive! 😉
At the restaurant, we announced the news to Derek’s parents. At that
time, his dad told me that on the first day Derek ever saw me (July 5th),
he knew instantly that he wanted to
marry me. His mom told me that Derek had been going from jewelry store to
jewelry store looking at rings and checking out their return policies!
On January 8th, Derek and I had our first official date.
This time, he got down on his knees and, with a ring in hand, asked me to marry
him. I said, “YES!”
We went from “friends” to “fiancés” without “dating”.
What a whirlwind!
Derek was on a special work project out of state, and since he was
about to begin a part of the project that would not allow him to be absent
(therefore, no vacations for a year and a half), his mom suggested our wedding
date and arranged for us to be married in 3 months! Since we were going to have
the wedding in Jacksonville, she planned every part of the wedding and even
found my dress!
Derek and I went from “friends” to “married” in 3 months!
From strangers to married in 9 months! I was stunned!
Our engagement pictures
(though Derek is not a firefighter):
Derek often said,
“God spoke to Moses through a burning bush,
but God spoke to me through a burning county.”
We were married April 10, 1999.
Derek’s dad was his best man,
and my two sisters were my matrons of honor.
I love our story because it was one in which I can see God’s finger
and direction over each and every detail of our journey. It was a journey I did
not look for or plan, but it was one that was perfectly planned for me!
Little did I know that when I walked in obedience to God’s Word to
honor my mom, in a short time I would be seeing my husband-to-be face to face.
Little did I know He was blending our hearts together without us even trying.
Thank You, God, for sovereignly working to bring something beautiful out
of something so difficult! YOU are a good and loving Father!
God is trustworthy.
Obey His Word,
Follow His Leading,
Trust His Plan.
