Faith Without Sight

These pictures are so common at our house,

that I haven't really taken notice of them lately.

Do you see our family?

There's Hope, Andrew, Cherish, mom, and dad.

I. am. pathetic.

to have eyes that have not been seeing.

There's our family.

Together.

I feel like I have been striving to bring Hope home for so many years, that I have been, um, well, striving lately.

Striving.

Not the place to be.

These pictures are just two of tons that get produced at my house. To Cherish, Hope is in our family. Already.

We told Cherish years ago that she would have a little sister named Hope. So, she has complete faith that Hope will join us--in due time. Fully trusting that we will keep our word. The time frame doesn't matter. It has been spoken, thus, it's a done deal.

And, in some ways I feel the same way. I know Hope is our daughter, but I have been searching for her for so long, that the searching has become hard rather than exhilarating.

Five years ago, Derek and I prayed that God would give us the names of our first two daughters so that we could pray for them by name. Derek and I received the same message: Cherish and Hope.

We named our first daughter Cherish, and indeed, she was meant to be! China had named her "Ai Mei", which means "Love/Cherish Rose". Thus, we named her Cherish Rose. (What a perfect confirmation!)

On May 5, 2008, we actively began the paperwork to bring our daughter Hope home. However, God wanted to bless us with Andrew first. And what an immense blessing he has been/is! "Thank You, LORD!!!!"

So, for five years now we have been praying for Hope by name and holding her in our hearts. We love her and are so eager to bring her home.

I'll admit: the wait has been getting harder lately. Especially knowing the gift of a daughter is coming!

Each time Derek or I look through our agency's children's profiles (almost daily) or open a file, it's as if I am holding my breath--wondering if "today" I will see my daughter's face for the first time.

It has been a long journey to Hope. One that I feel has aged me.

Tonight, I want to have the faith of a child. Cherish has faith without sight. She is resting in the timing of her parents.

I know Hope will be our daughter. When? I. have. no. idea.

Is that going to make me come unglued? I choose not to let it.

Derek is the leader of our family. I am to follow him (Colossians 3:18). He--with the help of our Lord--will find Hope, and then I will know. I choose tonight to rest in the timing God has already laid our for us. He is sovereign. He is good. (Yep, I'm preaching to myself, because right now, my heart feels hurt, tired, and weak.)

I choose to have faith without sight.
I choose to wait with patience.
I choose to rest in God's timing.
I choose to rest in Derek's leadership.
I choose to wait quietly.

I choose to stop striving.
I choose to have faith--even without sight.

"Precious Hope, I will see you soon.

I am dreaming of the day I will hold you in my arms

and kiss your sweet, warm cheeks for the first time.

You will have a dadda, momma, sister, and brother

who will love you and treasure you completely.

God will bless us with one another.

Hold on, Sweetheart.

The wait is a little longer.

I love you!

I am praying for you."

♥ Your momma